Thank the good lord that football season is nearly upon us. The dearth of entertainment from WUWS has reached epic proportions, but, in our defense, what the hell are we supposed to write about? Summer league NBA basketball? Tennis? Golf? Baseball? Don't be ridiculous.
So I'm going to officially open football season with an extensive dissertation on first round fantasy football draft strategy. Many fools posing as seers delve into this highly complicated topic. Some people will tell you to draft Joseph Addai before Peyton Manning. But what if your league starts two quarterbacks, like any self-respecting league should? Honestly, in your single-quarterback leagues, does it really make sense to draft Tom Brady in the 5th round right after Maurice Morris? How much fun is that?
But I digress; on to the good stuff! We at WUWS are in a league that I have seemingly sucked at but secretly been sand-bagging for the last several years, waiting for my league-mates to approach my massive intellectual reservior of NFL knowledge. So here is my first round strategy: draft LaDainian Tomlinson.
I know, I know. But hear me out. Choosing Tomlinson on the surface gives me a good chance to be competitive in the league, but I'm a smart and clever enough drafter to make other choices that ensure I do not contend. But not choosing Tomlinson would make it too obvious that I'm sand-bagging it, and my league-mates might demand that I begin trying and possibly even declare the last several seasons as tainted and retroactively make me the champion. I'd feel bad if they scratched their names off our trophy and replaced them with mine. It would strain our friendships, and that's not good for anyone.
But here lies the beauty in the selection: every draft you essentially try to figure out the order of the following year's draft. On my team, I want to have next season's #1 draft pick because it would mean that I had the guy with the best season, assuming I was trying to win the league, which I'm not. So how often has a player been the consensus #1 pick two years in a row? Not often. So in choosing Tomlinson, even though he's a great player, I'm almost guaranteed not to get #1 pick production from him. If he gets hurt, then I can really play up the sand-bagging and make everyone feel sorry for me. I had the foresight to do this last season by drafting Shaun Alexander. I knew perfectly well that LT had scored more fantasy points the previous season, despite not setting the touchdown record like Alexander did, but I took Shaun instead. Perfectly defensible to my league-mates, even though it was a sand-bagger's choice. I've become really good at this.
So, in conclusion, the best first round draft strategy is to draft LaDainian Tomlinson. Oh yeah, I have the #1 pick. Like I give a crap about the other slots.
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3 comments:
what is this? a new post on WUWS?
I will agree that regular drafting strategy doesn't necessarily apply to our league. Our league is set up quite differently from the normal 12 team, 1 starting QB league. My strategy this year is to not draft drew bledsoe. it didn't work last year and it sure as hell won't work this year.
oh and despite what espn and sports illustrated want you to believe, i have not become disillusioned by dogfighting, cheating refs, doped up bikers and home run records.
In fact, the longer this summer drags on the closer we get to football season. I will choose to remember summer 2007 as the summer that God Locker immaculately conceived a winning season.
Immaculate conception maybe... I'm pretty sure I saw Jerramy Stevens running from the scene that night.
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