Showing posts with label bart giamatti. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bart giamatti. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Why Baseball is the most poorly run sport besides basketball and hockey

So I just drafted a fantasy baseball team. I've found that having a fantasy team is the only way to keep me interested in baseball, and baseball is all we have for a long, long, LONG time after the NCAA tournament ends (expect for the NBA playofss, but who watches that crap anymore?).

Anyway, I drafted a team that is sure to be the model for every fantasy team assembled afterward. Much like the NFL, fantasy baseball is a copycat league. I checked the schedule to see when I could start watching my gladiator-like players in action (some of whom I've actually heard of before), and it turns out Opening Day is Sunday April 1st. But only two games are being played that day, which means that for 26 teams Opening Day is the next day: the same day as the NCAA National Title game.

What?!?

Why on God's green earth would you schedule your opener to occur on the same day as another sport's final championship game? Is baseball so arrogant as to believe this won't drive away fans in, say, the Florida or Cleveland or Cincinnati or Los Angeles or Washington DC markets? Yes, baseball is that arrogant and has always been that arrogant. They canceled the World Series for a year, and the fans still came back. Hell, they called it the "World Series" before they even let black people play. I can see how the conversation must have went:

Bud Selig (commissioner): When are we going to start our season?
Robert Manfred (vp, labor relations): Why don't we just cancel it again? Don't we lose money every season anyway? And I fucking hate Donald Fehr.
Jonathan Mariner (vp, finance): We can't do that! We only say we're losing money, and our books show that almost every club is losing tons of money. But we're really richer than God! (extends his middle finger skyward) That's right bitch! What are you gonna do!
Selig: Settle down John. How about we start on April 1st. That's a nice, round date. And to whet the appetite of our retarded fans, we'll only play two games on that day and start the rest the next day. Christ, I'm a genius!
Bart Giamatti (vp, common sense): ....
Tim Brosnan (vp, punkin' fools): That's right Giamatti, you stay dead! We killed your ass long ago! We fucking KILLED YOUR ASS!!!
Selig: Well, since there are no objections, it's settled then. Now set that Royals fan on fire so I can light my cigar....