Tuesday, May 22, 2007

NBA Lottery Running Diary

NBA Lottery drawing 2007! The excitement! The drama! The ineptitude! The culmination of a season's worth of tanking!

The big prize, of course, is Greg Oden. Anyone who takes Kevin Durant over Oden is automatically the worst of the already distiguished group of horrendous General Managers we have assembled. Let's see what transpired....

5:24 Fred Hickman begins a nice montage about getting better through drafting in the lottery. Can Memphis become San Antonio? No chance.

5:25 The Hornets DO have fans. Now I have visual proof.

5:27 Good God, that's a big matrix on the wall of the drawing room. We have computers now, is that thing really necessary?

5:28 Greg Anthony's take on who has the most at stake? Boston and New York. Thanks for coming out, Greg.

5:29 Kevin Garnett is a "perimeter big man"? Was that a back-handed compliment to Durant by Jay Bilas?

5:31 A Patrick Ewing sighting! He played for the Sonics! Is it a sign?

5:32 I just realized that this is going to take an entire half hour. Ugh. This is worse than Deal or No Deal.

5:35 More playoff coverage. BO-RING!

5:38 David Stern defends his suspension decision. Here's a question that won't be asked: how's that Utah vs. San Antonio series working out for you?

5:40 Does Bernie Tolbert really have to just stand there to protect the envelopes? Is that his entire job, all year long?

5:42 And for dinner? Jambalaya. Good omen for New Orleans? Only time will tell.

5:43 And now for the best part: bad GM row call!

5:44 I'd like to take a moment to point out that the Sonics don't have a coach OR a GM right now.

5:45 Could Brandon Roy play with Greg Oden? After the Sonics move to Oklahoma City, that might be enough to convince me to check NBA box scores every once in a while.

5:46 Here we go!

5:46 No love for New Orleans from my jambalaya. It figures, because the jambalaya sucks. I'm a bad cook.

5:46 No changes yet. Go Sonics!

5:47 So intense! SHUT UP HICKMAN!

5:47 Portland moves up!

5:47 SEATTLE MOVES UP!!! OH MY GOD!!!

5:48 Dammit, here's the Deal or No Deal moment.

5:50 Frantic emails and text messages to and from friends later, I'm deciding what to promise God in exchange for Greg Oden. Community service? My first born?

5:51 Number 1 or 2! Wowowowowow!

5:51 Kevin Durant baby! And Brandon Roy gets to play with Oden. What luck!

5:53 Look at Brandon Roy. What a guy. With Greg Oden, Brandon Roy's career arc takes him to Hall of Fame level. It all started right now.

5:54 Is Rashard Lewis gone from Seattle now? I say yes. Sign and trade maybe?

5:55 Fred Hickman: "it's a great day for all of these teams". Really? I'm pretty sure Memphis and Boston fans think it sucks.

5:57 Jon Barry suggests that the Blazers should trade the pick for veterans. Sounds like NBA GM material to me. The Sonics have an opening....

6:00 And now back to playoff basketball, and time to turn off the TV. Big day for the Pacific Northwest. Take that, East Coast bias!

1 comment:

DIII Player said...

that was the most fun i've had watching anything related to the NBA since at least the Pistons/Lakers series. I'm lying, since at least the '96 Western Conference Finals.