Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Why Baseball is the most poorly run sport besides basketball and hockey

So I just drafted a fantasy baseball team. I've found that having a fantasy team is the only way to keep me interested in baseball, and baseball is all we have for a long, long, LONG time after the NCAA tournament ends (expect for the NBA playofss, but who watches that crap anymore?).

Anyway, I drafted a team that is sure to be the model for every fantasy team assembled afterward. Much like the NFL, fantasy baseball is a copycat league. I checked the schedule to see when I could start watching my gladiator-like players in action (some of whom I've actually heard of before), and it turns out Opening Day is Sunday April 1st. But only two games are being played that day, which means that for 26 teams Opening Day is the next day: the same day as the NCAA National Title game.

What?!?

Why on God's green earth would you schedule your opener to occur on the same day as another sport's final championship game? Is baseball so arrogant as to believe this won't drive away fans in, say, the Florida or Cleveland or Cincinnati or Los Angeles or Washington DC markets? Yes, baseball is that arrogant and has always been that arrogant. They canceled the World Series for a year, and the fans still came back. Hell, they called it the "World Series" before they even let black people play. I can see how the conversation must have went:

Bud Selig (commissioner): When are we going to start our season?
Robert Manfred (vp, labor relations): Why don't we just cancel it again? Don't we lose money every season anyway? And I fucking hate Donald Fehr.
Jonathan Mariner (vp, finance): We can't do that! We only say we're losing money, and our books show that almost every club is losing tons of money. But we're really richer than God! (extends his middle finger skyward) That's right bitch! What are you gonna do!
Selig: Settle down John. How about we start on April 1st. That's a nice, round date. And to whet the appetite of our retarded fans, we'll only play two games on that day and start the rest the next day. Christ, I'm a genius!
Bart Giamatti (vp, common sense): ....
Tim Brosnan (vp, punkin' fools): That's right Giamatti, you stay dead! We killed your ass long ago! We fucking KILLED YOUR ASS!!!
Selig: Well, since there are no objections, it's settled then. Now set that Royals fan on fire so I can light my cigar....

8 comments:

Aquaman said...

How often do you have that conversation in your head? I worry about you SergeantSuj.

JV said...

i worry about you using a "vp of commonsense" w/o siting sports gay as your source. i also worry about your thyroid.

JPaulGeddy said...

Nice post blakes....seriously well done. Why start on a monday....bunch of retards. oops there i go again, making fun of the handicapped

DIII Player said...

making fun of the blind and the retarded in a 24 hour span. well done.

now if the mariners had opening day on a saturday would i be more likely to go or would i just resign myself to watching arena football?

JV said...

i would be more likely to go if i had free tickets and an opportunity to make fun of do-gooder Dan Wilson

spc said...

not to rain on anyone's parade, because i hate baseball more than anyone, but opening day and the ncaa final have coincided for several years now. it's called "cooler day", and i'd suggest you read brian murphy's inevitable article about the same on Page 2 Monday. In past years they've been pretty good. In fact, Brian Murphy used to be everything that was good about Page 2, prior to the infusion of new "talent" like Jemele Hill and Scoop Jackson, one-trick ponies if anything. Combine those two and Jim Caple (who's still writing The Daily quality articles), and you can see why espn.com is currently swirling down the drain. Anyhow, back to the original point, which is, while it's blatant douchebaggery that MLB opens (for all intents and purposes) on the same day as the NCAA finals, isn't it actually rather fitting, since baseball has generally taken a backseat to every other sport (besides hockey) in the past several years. It's somewhat comforting to know that from alpha to omega, the baseball season will be outshined by the NCAA championship, and some Week 5 NFL action, respectively.....and with Beckham showing up, MLB can't even count on August anymore, for shame.

DIII Player said...

you're right, baseball's opened on the first monday in April for as long as I can remember.

The interesting question to me is "is the NCAA final really the ratings monster we think it is?" The highest rating i could find in the last few years is in the 15 range which would put it behind an average episode of American Idol. I think Baseball isn't all that concerned (and rightly so) of the NCAA title game.

spc said...

ahh, but the biggest gripe about nielson (and other) ratings is that they underrepresent when it comes to sports viewing because they do not count places like sports bars and the DIII Palace, where people generally gather to watch sporting events en masse.